The Bad Ass Gift Guide for Vikings
Yuletide, Solstice, and all those other gift-giving holidays are just around the corner. And while your true-born Viking friends and family might not celebrate the more popular holidays, they still deserve gifts to brighten up the winter blues. What, you don’t know any Vikings? You say they haven’t been around in hundreds of years? WRONG. You know the friends I’m talking about: the ones who proclaim themselves Thorsson (looking at you, bro), who tattoo themselves with runes, who say ‘gods’ instead of ‘god’ when cursing, who wish they were born back in the olden days so they could really prove their mettle. More often than not, they’re big dudes with lots of facial hair, muscles, and a penchant for going half-naked to Ren Faires– although just like the Norse of olde, Modern Vikings can be women, too. Earth mothers and sisters who are as tough as nails, clever as a skald, and always willing to throw back a pint.
Chances are, you’re one of those people. But most likely, you know one of those people and you’re despeately searching for a gift that will not only bring them joy, but will also be unqiue enough that you can’t find it at the mall. Never fear. We’ve scoured the Internet for some kick-ass gifts for Vikings no matter what they celebrate.
This gorgeous model is the closest thing many can get nowadays to owning their own longboat. It’s modeled after the Goktsad shop, an actual Viking vessel that was found in Norway. You can choose either a raven or a serpent sail, so make sure you know if your friend is more of a Huginn or Jormangandr fan before you pick! My personal favorite detail? The colorful little shields on the sides!
We have a butt-ton of pendants that feature different, important symbols from the Norse pantheon. Seriously. We almost have too many different ones to choose from. You might be looking for a symbol of protection in battle? Got it. How about a symbol for finding and accruing wealth? Yeah, we have one of those too. What about one that protects your cows? Boy, are you in luck! Do a little research on our blog and find the one that suits you or the friend you’re shopping for. Go ahead. We’ll wait.
Not impressed? Try our sterling silver set.
I’ve seen these hats and face masks around for about a decade now. But they’ve evolved– it used to be you had to find someone very talented to craft one for you, but now people are selling them all over Etsy. This one is made by AiraVOcreations, and you should really devote your time to cruising their store– they’ve got a thousand different variants in all shapes, colors, and sizes. Best of all? The beard is detachable for those days when you want to show off the bottom of your face.
Rune-Engraved Viking Ale Horn
You’ve seen ’em, you love ’em, you’ve coveted one for years. Now, we have our very own Viking horn engraver that wull put any symbol you or a friend would want on a horn. Did you see something in the pendent section that really tickled your fancy but know your friend isn’t really a jewelry-wearer? We’re here for you. Check it out. Play around with it. We know you’ll come up with something that you absolutely adore. Not seeing something personal enough? Contact us and we’ll hook it up.
Your Viking friend or family member may be an extreme outdoors person who likes to kill and skin their own meals. Or they may prefer to use knifes to cut open their phone charger box (why are those things so difficult?) Either way, they need a knife and that knife NEEDS to have an antler handle. And that antler handle NEEDS to be branded with Algiz and Thursaz for luck and protection, and come with a custom sheath. Why? Because it’s sick as fuck.
We’ve talked about a hundred times on this blog about how Vikings were like, the cleanest folks out there during their time. Now you or your Viking friend can be just as alarmingly hygienic with this AMAZING smelling soap spread from Etsy store Shipwreck Apiaries. They’re specifically formulated to celebrate the winter season of Hygge, with flavors like Alpine Frost and Lingonberry. THAT’S RIGHT, IKEA FANS– you can smell like lingonberries.
While these idols are more Slavic than Norse, I find myself utterly enchanted by how beautiful they are. If you happen to know a pagan Viking, this could be a beautiful addition to their altar or garden. Find out who they favor and then find the Slavic equivalent in GoldAquamarine’s Etsy page– or take your search further for another idol of their religion they’ll enjoy. It will be a meaningful gift they’ll no doubt hold on to forever.