GOT Season 8, Ep. 4: The Last of the Snarks

Hello, my sweet winter children! We only have two more episodes left after this, so hold on to your butts. Let's review episode four and predict the END of Game of Thrones.


Burning The Dead

It doesn't seem like anyone is going to be rising from the dead anymore, now that the Night King is gone. But just in case, Winterfell is still about burning the bodies of the fallen. It's probably safer that way. I somehow doubt anyone who was at the Battle of Winterfell will ever feel comfortable around a corpse again.


Hey, can we get Tormund's actor, Kristopher Hivju, an authentic AleHorn? He's really been pimping us out and we feel kind of bad that we're not paying him. And by the way, we DO have drinking horns that big.

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Not a Lady

It was a nice thing, to entertain the idea that Arya would become the Lady of the Stormlands alongside Gendry Baratheon, first of his name. But she's not a lady. Still, maybe they'll have kids together or continue their romance. The teaser shot seemed to show Gendry and Arya sleeping together again, but maybe that was just a red herring.

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Sansa's Big Mouth

Hate on her all you want, but it was a good thing that Sansa told Tyrion. Tyrion and Varys will always come up with infinite better plans than either Dany or Jon who, while charismatic, don't always make the best decisions. Dany and Jon are natural-born leaders. People want to follow them. But people like Ser Davos, Tyrion, and Varys are natural-born advisors. They might not have the charisma to lead, but they can help those who do. And this is a situation that needs a LOT of help.

So He Just... Gave Up The Ghost?

After literal years of begging for more direwolves, Jon just gives Ghost to Tormund to bring North and doesn't even tell him he's been a good boy (Ghost, not Tormund)? I truly hate what the show has done for the wolves. On the other hand, is one of these three GOT spinoffs we're hearing so little about going to be a buddy cop project of Tormund and Ghost? Because I'm all for that.



It's All Fun and Games

This seemed like it was going to be a nice episode of recovering from the war and marching south to King's Landing right? Wrong. Here's a few giant, iron bolts for your dragon's head. That was pretty horrifying, right? And for Pete's sake, why the crap did Dany go to Dragonstone? It's literally a smidge away from King's Landing. It's the St. Petersburg to King's Landing's Tampa. Look at it:

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It's right there! What was she expecting Cersei to do, just let her take the castle? and sit out in the bay, preventing the Greyjoys from coming and going as they pleased? Not likely. Now she's lot another dragon before the war has even begun.


I guess we complained too much about not enough people dying, because this episode they took our dragon and our translator. Now that one of the most peaceful and beautiful love stories in the series is over, we know things are about to get real bad.

Can we also talk about how weirdly the showrunners, D&D, pronounce her name?

Anyway, RIP Messandei. We didn't deserve your goodness.


Dany is pissed - that's not a prediction. She probably won't go the way of her father, the Mad King. But she is MAD. And feeling very paranoid. She's realizing now that with only one dragon left against an army of ballistas, she doesn't have a lot of stake in the game that she has been fighting pretty much her entire adult life for.


She's Gonna Go To The Bank - In a very brief glimpse during the opening credits, one of the sheaths that move past the screen shows a roaring lion to the left of the screen, and a man with a helmet and extended sword to the right, and what looks like a dragon between. The man looks exactly like the titan of Braavos. It just so happens that Cersei owes the Bank of Braavos a LOT of money. If Dany can sway them to come to her aid, we just might have a chance in this.

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Arya doesn't intend to return to the North - Is that because she's prepared to die to kill Cersei? Because she wants to continue her roving assassin's life? Or because she may just wind up the lady of the Stormlands after all? What will she do when her list is done, if she survives?

Jamie Will Kill Cersei - Will he survive? Wouldn't it be glorious if he did? Like Arya, his whole life seems to be moving to this one point. Anything after kind of feels like it's borrowed. And speaking of Arya... will she be the one to kill Cersei? Will she be wearing Jamie's face?

Varys Will Make a Move Against Dany - And I don't foresee it paying off for him. I would like it to. Throughout the entire series, the only character with an absolutely unshakeable moral compass has been Varys, and he told us why tonight (and has hinted many times before). He represents the people of the realm. That's why he has worked for some very bad rulers in the past. His job is to remind the Kings of Westeros that the little people exist far beyond their petty squabbles and wars.



Did you leave your Starbucks cup on the table like Kit Harrington? Never fear. Next time you're shooting the most expensive TV show ever, why not go for something that fits the decor? We have horn coffee mugs. Yes, coffee mugs!

1 comment

  • Antonio

    There were so many ale horns, it could’ve been an ale horn orgy. I’ll drink to that.

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