Usually the life spans of fish are devastatingly disappointing, but once in a while you get yourself a winner like reddit user Chilly_911 did in his 6.5 year old sucker fish.
His name was Peeping Tom, because he lived in the bathroom and only saw people when they were pooping or showering, according to Chilly. As Chilly says,
“Since he was such a valiant creature, I decided he deserved a Viking funeral.”
The sad part is that he would have lived even longer had his caretakers followed Chilly’s directions to keep him in the sunlight. So it goes.
To pay penance for the neglect of Chilly’s fish, Chilly’s dad was ordered to construct the finest of fish-sized Viking burial ships out of wood and matches. He made a “valiant vessel,” which included severed troll body to serve as the masthead and a beautifully decorated paper sail.
Fortunately for us, Chilly’s dad is a pyro and Chilly’s family named the boat SS Boobies, which puts the “fun” in funeral for sure. Apparently, “Tom loved titties.”
The day of the funeral, Chilly’s sister had a drainage ditch in her yard that was the perfect tiny fish-sized river to sail a tiny fish-sized Viking funeral ship.
Chilly’s eulogy for Tom claims that “he will be missed by many.” RIP, you old bastard.