Hey friends. We need to talk about something very serious. Cue the Sarah McLachlan music.
Chances are, if you have a Game of Thrones fan in your life, they are going through some real serious heartache right now. And while that heartache will end soon (April 2019!), we have been in pain for a year and a half by now. A year and a half without beheadings, infanticide, incest, and blasting someone to hell in a bout of green flame. And we don’t even have Winds of Winter on the timeline to help soothe that pain.
Whether you watch the show or not, your friends and family who are GOT nuts need something special this year. And we know just the thing.
In the arms of an angel… make the little man fly away from here, and check out these sweet, and often violent Game of Thrones Yuletide Gifts:
Hand of the King Bottle Opener
Our favorite Hand of the King here at AleHorn is, of course, Tyrion Lannister. It would be Ned Stark if he didn’t bonk everything up so bad. Yeah, we said it. But Tyrion knows his way around a good bottle of wine. Do you think he ever used his Hand of the King to open a bottle of wine? We do. But there’s an easier way to do it, and we fully support you and your friends in this endeavor with this downright handsome bottle opener.
DA KING IN DA NORF! Novelty ugly Christmas sweaters were all the rage last year, and that train ain’t about to stop now. Although how you could call anything ugly when it has Kit Harrington’s face on it is beyond me.
HBO Now should have come out years ago. Since Game of Thrones is THE most widely pirated show in the world (no one wants to drop the BIG bucks, but everyone needs to see it!), the ability to choose when to stream their programs is a god-send. Since they’re now offering gift cards, well. Give your friends the opporunity to not have to pay money to see their favorite show come to its no doubt (ha) epeaceful conclusion.
The beauty of this candle killed me almost as hard as wildfire killed you-know-who. And yes, it does glow in the dark. Probably like whatever’s left of you-also-know-who. Please don’t bring around churches.
YAS QUEEN. If you, too, think Oelenna should be the one with her ass on the Iron Throne, raise your hand. Oops, it looks like that’s everyone. Even if you don’t know who that is, you probably want her as the Queen of Westeros, and your GOT fan friends most certianly do. Anyone would count themselves lucky to have this boss ass queen bitch on their shirt, so don’t even worry were your friends’ allegiances lie.
Hey, did you know we make Game of Thrones engraved horns? We have just about every house in Westeros in our GOT Horn Maker, and even if you can’t find what you’re looking for, we can make it just for you. Just send us a request. That’s a LOT easier than going to a wedding with Walder Frey.
Hodor! Hodor hodor hodor hodor? Hodor hodor! Hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor. Hodor!